Avert Your Eyes! High-Definition porn has arrived Part II
But it’s doubtful that HD porn will nudge viewers in the right direction. The HDTV microscope could kill the fantasy that the adult industry peddles. Hollywood is already learning this lesson the hard way: HDTV has revealed that some glamorous stars look a lot more pedestrian than we’ve been led to believe. And the makeup tricks that protect the aging and less-than-perfect are easy to spot in HDTV. When technology pundit Phillip Swann first saw the Charlie’s Angels movie in HDTV, he was taken aback by Cameron Diaz’s appearance. “Diaz looks like a different person,” he marveled in the pages of Television Week, noting that her face has been ravaged by acne over the years. “She’s still very pretty. But to be very frank, I doubt that she would make People’s ‘Most Beautiful’ list.” Of course, as long as they’ve got some bedroom skills, adult performers needn’t be absolute world-beaters in the looks department, so they tend to be a lot less lovely than your average Hollywood star. In addition, they end up revealing a lot more nooks and crannies than their mainstream peers, which means many more physical flaws can wind up on-screen. That’s no big deal for peddlers of lowbrow or amateur smut, in which bad bodies are the norm. But keep in mind that DirecTV will be broadcasting films from two sources, Playboy and the Spice Channel, both of which pride themselves on being vendors of classy porn. The action on Spice is tame compared to what you might find at the local XXX store, and the stars typically sport toned, pneumatic bodies without visible shortcomings. If Cameron Diaz’s otherworldly reputation can’t survive HDTV intact, what chance does the Spice Channel’s talent have? And will HDTV customers readily fork over $14.99 per three-hour movie block once they realize that the naughty sorority sister their order conjures up has amateurish implants, and the lucky TV repairman’s skin redefines the word “leathery”?
HDTV isn’t impossible to fool, and porn producers can surely figure out some ways to beat the technology’s realism. To better conceal whatever facial or follicular quirks Jennifer Aniston might possess, Friends painted its primary set in light purple—the resulting aura supposedly gives the cast a healthy glow, even in HDTV. And makeup artists are already experimenting with airbrushes, misting their clients’ faces with thin glazes that don’t look too pancakey. All of these tricks cost money, however, and the adult industry is notoriously stingy about raising its production costs. DirecTV may be right to bet on HDTV’s eventual success, but it’s unlikely that adult movies will hasten that future. Even if the average price of an HD-ready set dips below $1,000 some day, porn connoisseurs may still prefer their thrills the old-fashioned way—with the gritty details obscured by strategic lighting and makeup. When it comes to televised porn, technological ignorance may be bliss.
Brendan I. Koerner is a contributing editor at Wired and a fellow at the New America Foundation. Photograph of porn actors on Slate’s home page by Peter Turnley/Corbis.
http://www.slate.com/id/2094788/